A recent study shows how practicing being our “best self” may change conflict more than the expectations and opposition we impose as parents. This study shows investing being less stressed, more free, and less oppositional improves behaviors even with our children with “behavioral disorders” This comes from a focus on mindful practices instead of telling our kids to mind your parents.
So, the study shows that if we use self-care techniques and interactive strategies to blend with the opposition of our children then they become less oppositional as a reflection of our improved state. No changes in rules and penalties but a change in how we are “being” improved the behaviors of children with behavioral disorders.
The parents used mindful stretching and breathing to reduce stress. They used interactive practices to improve nonverbal communication and body relationships, and they looked at what ways of thinking reinforced the negativity of a situation.
The result was less anxiety and depression and better behaviors for all.
Aikido is based on the premise, “Aikido is not for correcting others, it is for correcting your own mind” so that we can “envelop my opponent with the heart of love.” Destruction as self-defense and Spare the rod; spoil the child reflects our conventional thinking when it comes to facing aggression. We have nicer versions of how to do that today but generally we try to figure what do we have to do to someone to get the outcome that is “right.” Another quote that fits well here comes from a story via Robert Frager who asked what is the relationship between uke and nage (attacker and aikidoist) supposed to be like? The founder of Aikido said, “it is like a parent to child.”
Hidefumi Oga1 and Kouichi Yoshimasu utilized these principles with adapted practices to support parents in changing how the are “being” in relationship to their children. Self-care is an ongoing practice that is the responsibility of the individual. It is something we can do on our own to change what we bring to our relationships. You can read the full study here.
I really enjoyed this post because not only akido it teaches self defense it also teaches how to reduces stress that effect us everyday. this also helps parents help there kids who are having trouble reducing stress due to school and other stuff.
Parents and their kids who master this could reduce their stress 10 times more then hose who dont.
The other reason that calmness is important because students and sometimes parents predict wrong things that might happen during the assault and it gives them an advantage over their attacker or assailant because not only you won’t be caught off guard but also u won’t get thrown around. The reason that this blog makes since about stress is people themselves sometimes feel that they are overwhelmed from their jobs and unexpected things that show up on their door like a tuition monster commercial that tells people before they go to college get a scholarship and financial help because that also leads to stress while you’re a student who taking more than 12 credit hours and taking care of their parents who can’t take care of themselves
I really enjoyed this post because not only aikido it teaches self-defense it also teaches how to reduces stress that affect us every day. this also helps parents help their kids who are having trouble reducing stress due to school and other stuff.
Parents and their kids who master this could reduce their stress 10 times more than those who don’t. The reason i find this blog so important because stress affect us in a number of ways like our health, thoughts feelings and behavior. what I learned from an article that I read about called Aikido and Stress Management one of the statements that caught my attention was the practice of aikido comes from harmony relaxed spirit and calmness because that’s one of those things taking part in self-defense class. The other reason that calmness is important because students and sometimes parents predict wrong things that might happen during the assault and it gives them an advantage over their attacker or assailant because not only you won’t be caught off guard but also u won’t get thrown around. The reason that this blog makes since about stress is people themselves sometimes feel that they are overwhelmed from their jobs and un expected things that show up on their door like a tuition monster commercial that tells people before they go to college get a scholarship and financial help because that also leads to stress while you’re a student who taking more than 12 credit hours and taking care of their parents who can’t take care of themselves.
This is really interesting–so if I’m understanding it correctly, these parents used mindfulness in order to change the way they approached conflict with their children, and in result, there were better behavioral outcomes for both the parents and the children. I’m not all that surprised at all by the results.
From the little bit I have had the opportunity to practice Aikido, I have found that it really does influence how we approach conflict; and rather than approaching it with opposition, “blending” with our opponent has much more fruitful responses, with a lot less struggle in the process. Even if there was a lot on my mind when I walked in to the dojo, my stress, anxiety, and frustration would often melt away by the end of practice.
That said, I have to wonder how the study was actually carried out–was their a control group of parents and how exactly were outcomes measured? What were the age ranges of the children? I also wonder how the results would change if the ages of the parents and children were different–e.g. if the parents were elderly and the children were adults. Additionally, how was the mindful stretching and breathing implemented? I imagine that it would be more beneficial to the parents to practice mindfulness daily, but I wonder if it would have any immediate benefits too when dealing with conflict with their children.
I definitely need to read the study, but if these results are replicable, I can really see how much it would benefit us to implement these Aikido philosophies into our daily lives. The analogy between the uke and nage and the parent and child is very poignant.
I really enjoied Aikido. it makes you feel better in so many ways. Everything in Aikido training is meant to develop not only a strong individual, but one with the wisdom and energy to positively benefit society. A true martial artist views conflict not merely as a contest with others, but as an opportunity to forge oneself and overcome our true enemies, which are within. A life lived fully in this manner naturally becomes shugyo: the deepest possible spiritual training. A favorite saying of Morihei Ueshiba O-Sensei, the founder of Aikido, was Masakatsu, Agatsu: “True victory is self-victory.” This truly is the spirit of Aikido.
I strongly believe that Aikido was based off of Compassion in full. It amazes me that this self defense technique can be used to defend yourself in a time of need, but also to essentially better your relationship with oneself. When in conflict Aikido rarely focuses on the opponent, but the person itself. Because one must have balance and control within in order to be victorious outside. I loved how they are teaching children this at such a young age, because it will easily instill self control and discipline over the mind. Along with behavioral issues and mental disorders, this technique opens other options of coping with health problems. Overall, this was a great read, very insightful. Aikido continues to amaze me in how far it can stretch in variety and meaningfulness.